FASQS

Frequently Asked Sausage Questions

Questions were asked. We answered them. Some of these were asked by actual humans. Others… revealed themselves.

Is this a real competition?

Yes. Emotionally, physically, and in several legally ambiguous jurisdictions.

What qualifies as a sausage?

A question philosophers, chefs, and Susan Sausage have debated for years. Officially: if it’s encased and you can defend it, we’ll consider it.

Who is Susan Sausage, really?

We’ve stopped asking. You should, too.

How do I enter?

Submit your application, your signature sausage, and a willingness to be judged at a level you may not be prepared for.

What are the judges looking for?

Flavor. Technique. Creativity. And something they’ve never seen before—but somehow immediately understand.

What is “snap,” and why does everyone keep talking about it?

If you have to ask, you’re not ready.

Has anyone ever impressed Susan?

There are rumors.

Can I attend the events?

Yes, depending on the city, capacity, and how comfortable you are being near this much sausage.

Are the tastings free?

Yes. But “free” doesn’t mean “without consequences.”

Is there a dress code?

Nothing too restrictive. (You’ll thank us later.)

What airline should I use for travel?

Delta, always (says Susan).

Is this, in fact, a sausage fest?

Yes. We’ve been very clear about that.

Will I regret participating?

Not immediately.

What happens if I lose?

Growth. Reflection. Possibly a strong desire to try again.

Should I take this seriously?

Up to you, really.

Or, are you ready to find out the hard way?